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Hacked By GeNErAL

Posted on Jun 22, 2008 in Childhood and Family, Features | 2 comments

~!Hacked By GeNErAL alias Mathis!~

Hacked By GeNErAL

 

Greetz : Kuroi’SH, RxR, K3L0T3X

\!/Just for Fun ~Hacked By GeNErAL\!/

Hacked By GeNErAL! !

2 Comments

  1. I really get where you’re coming from here. I just… the same thing has happened to me, in a way, except I was trying to be like the Girls That Could in the books I read. They always ate as much as or more than the boys; it just seemed like that was the way to eat, in order to make people like me. So I did. Later, it turned into hunting for comfort during bouts of severe depression (other issues not related to weight). God, it’s hard.

  2. Thank you for explaining the link between comfort and overeating..I’ve been overeating for most of my life as a coping mechanism, but never really understanding the way in which it served me until I listened to your audio. We were very poor when I was little and I just remember feeling unsafe, insecure, unloved, unappreciated….just worthless. I think it was like food validated me, my existence, because we didn’t have enough of it, and if I was given some, it was like mom saying, “I love you.”, and if I was chastised for eating it, I felt greedy and rejected..So, like you said, I started comforting myself, it was the only thing I could consistently give to myself as I got older and we stopped being so poor. And it just…worked. For whatever amount of time I was overeating I would feel sort of numb to whatever pain was going on inside of me. Overeating is the only way I’ve been connected to my body..feeling the pain wasn’t so much shameful as it was necessary. I felt comforted in knowing my limits, and then going past them because I already knew how my body would react. If I didn’t feel sick to my stomach then I knew I did something wrong, failed at something again, even if what I failed at was overeating.

    This year I’ve come up against the brick wall of a personal tragedy, and I’ve not been able to get past it by eating my way through. I felt incredibly betrayed when I realized my usual mode of operation wasn’t going to work. I’m still trying to work my way into a normal relationship with food, but I’m having trouble understanding what normal is for me…Is overeating “loving” for a child, but “unloving” for an adult? I don’t know yet…

    Anyway, thanks again for this post, it really made me think.

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